Hey people! Up up up! It's 3:52! That's A.M., people! How can you be snoring your lazybone selves away? There are things to do! Like cry! Yes, you can wake up and cry! It's now become a hobby! Maybe I should roll it into an instant carpet and you can grow your MiracleCry kit!
They say we sleep a third of our lives. How about an eighth? Ah, no, let's bargain for a ninth. Poster Boy for Bram Stoker. I'm not quite hanging upside down yet, but it's close. Wandering the streets, arms extended, lumberjack shirt, glassy look? Close.
So: up up up, people! Half the world is awake while you sleep!
You know, the world DOES revolve around that bright thing that I haven't seen in a while! All I know is sometimes it's the six o'clock news and sometimes it isn't.
But I am proud (cue martial music) to be a Citizen of the Dark. Key point here in this club, though, is that you are UP and FUNCTIONING.
So WAKE UP and ENTERTAIN ME!