It's uncomfortable to even talk about it, but basically, when my father was young -- very, very young, maybe 20 years old, just around the beginning of the U.S. involvement in WWII, he met someone and had a baby with her after marrying her. I'm, like REALLY vague on the details. I certainly never asked him about it (he's gone now) but the news did get around. I never mentioned that I was aware of anything even to my mother.
When my eldest brother died, at age 48, I just happened to be on my way to California (too late -- he died just hours before I arrived). But that night, as a mini-wake was being undergone, I found a trunk in my parents' closet. I don't know what made me look there, but I did. And in that trunk I found a wallet. It was a very old wallet.
I looked through it, and I found two photos: one of an incredibly beautiful young woman, probably in her early 20s, and a picture of an extremely beautiful baby, less than a year old.
As I was look at these pictures, my mother happened to walk in. I said "Mother, who are these people?" and she said "Well, your father . . ." and JUST THEN someone called her from the other room and the moment was lost. I didn't pursue it.
I decided that I would wait until my father was gone before I did anything, IF I did anything. But since then, on only two occasions (one of them being today) I asked my mother for details. As usual, she was very matter-of-fact, not acting regretful at all (she met my father years after the birth of his child).
But the news was discouraging. My mother only knows the names of the mother, Donna, and the daughter, Linda, and only knows that they lived somewhere in New York state.
If Linda is alive, she would be between 59 and 63 . . . but what are the chances of my finding a Linda Robinson? My name is as common as the grains of sand on a beach. Linda is even more common. New York is a huge place.
Why couldn't she have been named Jacynthe? And my last name be Xerxes?
Question is, should I bother looking? The chances against finding her are like looking for life in the Andromeda galaxy.
I've been told that if it was important enough, she would have found US by now, so maybe she doesn't want to be found . . .
My question to you is, should I just let sleeping dogs lie?