Duffalo Burgers!

I threatened it, and yesterday it came to pass. I bought a duck breast from the local butcher and some pre-ground bison at my local Metro. I wanted to grind the bison myself but they only had the pre-ground.

I wouldn't want to make a bison burger all by itself because it has not a fleck of fat in it -- it's probably 2% fat as opposed to the 20-odd percent we want. So the duck was a fantastic solution. Even then, I had to cut several ounces of fat off the duck before I saw fit to use it.

Ready for the grinder

You can see those massive bands of fat still on the duck; those would be the mortar to hold the bricks together, so to speak.

Ground Duckalo! Or is that Buffaluck?

I formed it into neat patties which unfortunately only yield 5 quarter-pounders.

Ready to grill!

I made a salsa to go with it, but I didn't want to make a Tex-Mex burger; just a nice spicy ketchup-type condiment. I roasted a few yellow cherry tomatoes, a few vine-ripened tomatoes, a few shallots, onions and garlic, then added cilantro and some vinegar.

Ready for a 450-degree oven

Done

Then I puréed it and added salt and pepper.

I bought some smoked Gouda, on the advice of messrs. Chris "Zeke" Hand and his partner E.Coli of the Montreal Burger Report, and sautéed the burgers in a cast iron pan. They did not need fat, and required but three minutes per side.

I had previously buttered two onion rolls from Quality Kosher with garlic butter and had toasted them in the cast-iron pan. I smeared them with salsa on both sides, added the burgers (a double for my friend Daniel), added three slices of semi-crisp bacon, thin slices of vine-ripened tomatoes, smoked gouda and aged cheddar slices, and finely shredded onions coated in buttermilk and flour and deep fried in duck fat until crispy, topped it all off with hearts of romaine, served crispy oven fries alongside, and voilà.

Daniels' double burger! Click to enjoy!

The Duffaluck Burger. Daniel completely demolished his and I managed three-quarters. I deem it an unqualified success! It tasted smoky, lean, sassy, not at all gamy and I will make it again TONIGHT.

Nick's Turbo-charged BLT

If I had my way, the BLT would be about six letters longer. I always love to stuff as many things as I can into an ordinary BLT. I love to mess with the concept. Therefore, no two of my BLTs will ever be the same. Even with the basic ingredients, there are half a million ways you can vary the composition. In this version, the odd man out is the cucumber; but it packs a welcome, crispy crunch. Next time I might do it with some sautéed shiitake mushrooms. The secret to a good BLT is the contrasts of the cold and the hot, the soft and the crunchy, the sweet and the salty. Only your imagination sets the limits. And though it might seem like a heart attack on a plate, indulge. Don't skimp on the fats. You're only going to be having one of these once in a blue moon.

Tonight's was a good one. Let's see what was done.

Waiting for lettuce

One hell of a good sandwich

Ingredients
Country bread (pain à campagne), unsliced
6 slices thick-sliced applewood-smoked bacon
1/2 medium red onion, sliced thinly
4 slices thinly-sliced 6-year aged cheddar cheese (from the edge of a block)
1 slice Emmenthal cheese
4 slices thinly-sliced Italian tomato
4 thin slices English cucumber
1 cup chopped romaine lettuce, heart section preferred
Japanese mayonnaise, or a mixture of Hellman's and a little dijon mustard

Method
Cut two slices of the bread, at least 1/2 an inch thick. Set aside.

In a small nonstick skillet, sauté the onions on medium heat in some butter until brown and almost getting crisp; about 15 minutes.

Prepare a baking sheet lined with aluminum foil. Lay out the bacon. Bake at 500 degrees either in a toaster oven or a regular oven, about 7 minutes or to your desired doneness (I like mine still somewhat soft, not hard and brittle). Place in a bowl lined with paper towels.

Toast the bread until just showing some color; spread mayonnaise on both slices. On one slice, place the cheeses. Toast in a toaster oven until the cheese has melted.

Assemble the sandwich: layer the bacon first, then the the cucumber, then the caramelised onions, then the tomato, then a hefty bunch of lettuce.

Cut in half. Serve with a glass of Barolo.

Jumbo Shrimp II

I have to admit, I don't like peeling shrimp. But not for the reasons you might expect. Tonight, as I peeled these delicious monsters, I couldn't help thinking about them grazing across the ocean floor, going home at night after a hard days' work finding plankton, greeting their jumbo-shrimp wives and children, only to be plucked suddenly from their tranquil lives by an illegal Russian purse-seine operation.

Flash frozen! The sheer horror. And then to be brined in salt and sugar -- as if they needed more salt -- and peeled, headless and forever wriggle-less, in my kitchen sink. I gave them names as I peeled them . . . "Goodbye, Harvey . . . goodbye, Adolphus, goodbye Margaret and especially goodbye, Troy. You will be missed, and I promise to say a special prayer to the Shrimp God, Scuttillus Maximus, on your behalf, so you go to shrimp heaven."

And shrimp heaven it was tonight!

Check it out! If you look closely you can just see that extra-pink spot on Adolphus (third from left)!